Comments on: 4 Good Things http://lbnuke.com/2008/05/01/4-good-things/ Randomly Rambling Sat, 04 Sep 2010 11:48:03 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: renaeden http://lbnuke.com/2008/05/01/4-good-things/comment-page-1/#comment-18530 renaeden Sat, 03 May 2008 05:47:37 +0000 http://lbnuke.com/?p=230#comment-18530 Thanks to you for posting the link and thanks to k for the awesome reply. :) Thanks to you for posting the link and thanks to k for the awesome reply. :)

]]> By: d http://lbnuke.com/2008/05/01/4-good-things/comment-page-1/#comment-18510 d Thu, 01 May 2008 22:02:54 +0000 http://lbnuke.com/?p=230#comment-18510 thank YOU (from the homeless d =) i really appreciate you taking the time to help me out, and that half hour in which you, the vegetarian, sat with me on the patio of the in'n'out by the oakland coliseum, just chillin'. as i mentioned, it's weird, two people who have such issues and problems, meaning, inside the head, those two people can sit over food and in sunshine, and even talk casually of what's going on in the head, really bad stuff, and it's all so casual, no judgments, just regular people. i like that i can talk about the godawful stuff going in my head, and there's no hystrionic reaction, cuz you've been there yourself, and there aint no point getting into a tizzy about it. it sucks, yeah, but been there, done that, kinda of, with a healthy amount of mutual respect. that's the good thing about the bad brains club. =) again, as i mentioned, if you get stuck in those "need to get out of the house but can't" moments, i'd totally be up for come rescuing you", though, as you mentioned, the fact that i work semi-regular m-f hours kinda puts a roadblock in that. i'll think of something, though. thank YOU (from the homeless d =) i really appreciate you taking the time to help me out, and that half hour in which you, the vegetarian, sat with me on the patio of the in’n'out by the oakland coliseum, just chillin’. as i mentioned, it’s weird, two people who have such issues and problems, meaning, inside the head, those two people can sit over food and in sunshine, and even talk casually of what’s going on in the head, really bad stuff, and it’s all so casual, no judgments, just regular people. i like that i can talk about the godawful stuff going in my head, and there’s no hystrionic reaction, cuz you’ve been there yourself, and there aint no point getting into a tizzy about it. it sucks, yeah, but been there, done that, kinda of, with a healthy amount of mutual respect.

that’s the good thing about the bad brains club. =)

again, as i mentioned, if you get stuck in those “need to get out of the house but can’t” moments, i’d totally be up for come rescuing you”, though, as you mentioned, the fact that i work semi-regular m-f hours kinda puts a roadblock in that.

i’ll think of something, though.

]]> By: Your sweetie http://lbnuke.com/2008/05/01/4-good-things/comment-page-1/#comment-18506 Your sweetie Thu, 01 May 2008 19:11:41 +0000 http://lbnuke.com/?p=230#comment-18506 Yay 4 good things! So glad you got out sweetie! And thanks for the gratz - I love questing w/you! In your post I particularly loved the Terrific Traits and 1, 8, 9. 10 stood out to me the most. As an NT partner of an Aspie (i.e. you), learning about total honesty, no head games and no hidden agendas has been the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever encountered in a relationship. All of those things were pretty foreign to me in a lot of ways. I still have trouble with the white lies (with others) because my upbringing and to an extent my career have been about being polite, putting on a brave face, making others feel good, putting other people's feelings above my own, being hopeful in the face of hopelessness, looking for the silver lining and trying to stay positive. I know you and I recently talked about this but one of the most wonderful things (and there are many) of having a relationship with you, an Aspie, is that it has made me so much less fearful about being honest. It has affected me positively in all of my relationships, not just ours, and my work. I have realized I don't have much to lose and so much more to gain by being honest, and it has forced me and continues to force me to take hard looks at myself, my assumptions and how I go about relating to other people in the world. It has made me feel incredibly secure in our relationship - that I can truly be who I am, say what I think and how I feel - and know that you love me anyway. I feel incredibly lucky to be your partner and your "aspie traits" have only enriched my life in ways I could never have imagined. Through knowing you and meeting and reading things about and by others on the autistic spectrum I can truly appreciate that the myths about lack of empathy, lack of passion, lack of being able to be in a relationship, are just those - myths. By saying that I don't mean in any way to diminish or minimize the incredible difficulty that those on the autistic spectrum face when dealing with the general public and the people in their lives. What I mean is that autistic people are just as complex and multilayered as anyone else and to generalize about what "they" are capable of is to truly do a disservice. Yay 4 good things! So glad you got out sweetie! And thanks for the gratz – I love questing w/you! In your post I particularly loved the Terrific Traits and 1, 8, 9. 10 stood out to me the most. As an NT partner of an Aspie (i.e. you), learning about total honesty, no head games and no hidden agendas has been the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever encountered in a relationship. All of those things were pretty foreign to me in a lot of ways. I still have trouble with the white lies (with others) because my upbringing and to an extent my career have been about being polite, putting on a brave face, making others feel good, putting other people’s feelings above my own, being hopeful in the face of hopelessness, looking for the silver lining and trying to stay positive. I know you and I recently talked about this but one of the most wonderful things (and there are many) of having a relationship with you, an Aspie, is that it has made me so much less fearful about being honest. It has affected me positively in all of my relationships, not just ours, and my work. I have realized I don’t have much to lose and so much more to gain by being honest, and it has forced me and continues to force me to take hard looks at myself, my assumptions and how I go about relating to other people in the world. It has made me feel incredibly secure in our relationship – that I can truly be who I am, say what I think and how I feel – and know that you love me anyway. I feel incredibly lucky to be your partner and your “aspie traits” have only enriched my life in ways I could never have imagined.

Through knowing you and meeting and reading things about and by others on the autistic spectrum I can truly appreciate that the myths about lack of empathy, lack of passion, lack of being able to be in a relationship, are just those – myths. By saying that I don’t mean in any way to diminish or minimize the incredible difficulty that those on the autistic spectrum face when dealing with the general public and the people in their lives. What I mean is that autistic people are just as complex and multilayered as anyone else and to generalize about what “they” are capable of is to truly do a disservice.

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